Showing Up to Write on My Worst Days

Why I write when I’m not in the mood.

Bill Holmes

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Photo courtesy of the author.

“There will be good days and bad days. Days when you feel inspired and days when you want to walk off a bridge. (And some days when you can’t tell the difference.)”

-Austin Kleon, Keep Going: 10 Ways to Stay Creative in Good Times and Bad

This story was inspired after reading Aman Arora’s “Should You Show Up Even on Your Worst Days?”

Some days it’s a struggle for me to find the strength and the enthusiasm to write anything, even my own name. I had my moments in the past, especially when I was suffering through some serious depressive bouts, but I wrote anyway regardless of if it was one sentence, telling myself “Something’s better than nothing, Bill.”

Writing is my passion, but it can also be a challenging experience when I’m not in the mood to write. Depression isn’t the only factor that’s negatively impacted my mood; financial woes, family drama, and stressful workdays have taken their toll on my enthusiasm and made me skip writing days.

If I wanted to take time off to not write, I’d be entitled to do so, right? A day or two, or maybe a week won’t kill me, would it? The world won’t come to an end if I gave myself a creative sabbatical from the pen and journal or my laptop.

No, life will continue on. I won’t drop dead if I temporarily stop writing, but I know that decision wouldn’t sit well inside my soul.

Regardless of my mood and the days, both the good and the bad, I show up to write. I do so not because I’m a writer, but writing, for me, is a necessity; it’s an activity of my daily living just like eating, drinking water, breathing, and sleeping.

Unless I’m physically ill, like recovering from a serious cold or surgery, I’ll take a break to give my body the rest it needs to make a full recovery. That’s the only exception. I’ve tried writing once when I had the flu, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience. Attempting to journal with a running nose, nagging cough, and a throbbing headache while taking medication made me feel disoriented, which trickled down inside my words.

Documenting my troubles, frustrations, toxic feelings, etc. is therapeutic for me to release all the…

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Bill Holmes

Writer. Poet. ESSENCE Best Selling Author. Filmmaker. Personal development aficiando who lives and breathes the mantra "I will not be denied!"